Self-Talk & Your Unconscious Mind

I have a memory from a few years ago, of standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes, feeling exhausted & resentful, with the words ‘The girls will be the death of me!’ running through my mind.

Not the best mantra to have playing on repeat. Thankfully I managed to recognise the negative self-talk that I had going on & took steps to change it.

Our minds can be divided into 3 systems – the Conscious, Unconscious & Subconscious.

The Conscious Mind governs our awareness of the present moment – you’re consciously reading this right now & may notice the chair you’re sitting on needs another cushion. The Subconscious Mind contains information you can access easily when you turn your attention to it. This is where information like your home address is stored – you can tell someone where you live, but you aren’t constantly thinking of your address. The Unconscious Mind (UCM) contains our primitive, instinctual desires, & things we can’t easily access. Even though we aren’t aware of our unconscious wishes, they are what drive our behaviour. This is where our beliefs are stored.

My negative self-talk ‘The girls will be the death of me!’ usually came at the end of a tiring day looking after 2 small children. It was also accompanied by an unhealthy dose of guilt – other mothers do this every day & cope, why can’t I? And down the negative spiral I would go, until I felt like the worst mother in the world. Isn’t it amazing how one line of negative self-talk can plunge a person into low self-worth & despair? And here’s the interesting part - when you’re a Highly Sensitive Person, your tendency to think more deeply means your thoughts have the ability to take you to a good place or a bad place even faster than anyone else.

I knew that if I didn’t change my negative mantra – fast – I’d be telling my UCM that I wanted my girls to be the death of me. This is because our UCMs take in everything we say to ourselves in a very literal & unfiltered way. I changed my self-talk to ‘I’m going to live a long & healthy life so I can be around to take care of my family’. Every time I caught myself going down the old route with the negative mantra, I’d replace it with the new positive one.

Our thoughts, both conscious & unconscious, really do create our reality. We need to be aware of what we think & the self-talk that goes through our minds because what we think on the inside, we manifest on the outside.

The first step, of course, is noticing your self-talk. Are you aware of what you say to yourself on a daily basis? If you manage to catch yourself in a recurring negative thought, try writing it down & ask yourself – is this really what I want to happen? Think about what you would like instead & every time you find yourself in the negative thought, replace it with your new one. And repeat. Over & over again, until the negative thought loses its power & your UCM gets busy creating a positive outcome.

Do share your thoughts in the comments below. Here’s to happy & constructive self-talk!

Photo credit: partymonstrrrr via / CC BY-NC-ND

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