How Your Sensitivity is an Asset at Work

You're sitting in the meeting room, your heart fluttering as you sense the tension around the table. And that's even before the first words are spoken.

You sit back and listen as the meeting gets under way, listening to everyone talking over each other, wondering why nobody seems to actually be answering the main questions. But nobody else seems to notice; they're too busy trying to get their point across. Even though you know you have something valuable to add to the conversation, you can't seem to make yourself heard over the egos in the room – in fact, each time you try and say something, you're talked over.

Your cheeks flame red, your heart beats faster as you fight back the urge to slam your hand on the table and shout 'just listen!' to get everyone to take notice. Before you know it, the meeting is over, and you race out of the boardroom to the toilets, fighting back tears of anger and frustration. Yet again, you failed to speak up. Yet again, you weren't forceful enough to share your – very valid – point of view. The critical voice inside your head goes into over-drive, berating you. Telling you – you're not cut out for the job, you're too soft, you're an imposter.

You slink back to your desk feeling defeated and exhausted, and it's only 10am.

Does This Sound Familiar?

Many years ago, this was often my experience when I worked in a global investment bank. I ended up leaving after a few years, feeling disillusioned and burnt-out, my self-esteem at an all-time low. It took me years of personal development work and healing to recover, and I was determined never to set foot back in that world.

The Discovery That Changed Everything

Then I discovered I'm a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and learnt that my sensitive physiology was responsible for so much of what I'd felt and experienced during my corporate years.

I recognised that the overwhelm and exhaustion that came hand-in-hand with the perfectionism and people-pleasing were common by-products of an HSP's wiring. I also understood why I often sat in those meetings noticing things that everyone else seemed to miss, knowing way before others that the proposed deadline was going to be missed.

Recognising the Hidden Strengths

I now realise my managers must have recognised my ability to do this and often sent me to these god-awful meetings, because they valued this ability – not that they ever told me overtly.

My Highly Sensitive strong sense of justice explained why I campaigned to have someone's role on the team reinstated, when he was let go during a round of cut-backs. I pointed out to the CTO that he was a key member without whom the whole project would flounder – amazingly they listened.

If Only I'd Known Then...

I wish I'd known I'm a Highly Sensitive Person back in my corporate days. I could have learnt how to manage the overwhelm, perfectionism, procrastination and other challenges that HSPs experience and made the most of the many unique abilities that I'd taken for granted.

The ability to think and process deeply, the empathy that allowed people to open up to me and share what was really going on, the ability to notice subtleties that others missed and relate them to the big picture.

Little did I know then that my sensitive strengths would have helped me become a great leader – if only I'd had the knowledge and strategies to stop myself from burning out.

Why I Do This Work

THIS is why I now support empathic, sensitive women in business and leadership, giving them the precise knowledge and tools they need to work with their sensitivity and continue making their impact at work.

If you've ever been told you're 'too sensitive', or that 'you need to grow a thicker skin,' know this: you don't need to hide or overcome your sensitivity.

It's your greatest leadership asset.